dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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