If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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