Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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