do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
