In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
