One girl and one boy is just not enough.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
