i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
