good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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