I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Randomize
