just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
