My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
