You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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