I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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