we have officially lost it.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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