I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
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