thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize