so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
