Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I want to make a zoo with you.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Randomize
