I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
