come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
