Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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