I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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