wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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