It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Boobs speak an international language.
Rumble strips road head = magical
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
