After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
