this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
