We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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