Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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