my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
