You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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