k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
