How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
