$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
