Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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