this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize