So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
