Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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