girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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