well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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