You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize