He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
