in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So I just went to clothing optional bar
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
