Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize