How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
