Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize