Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
