3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
