It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
