Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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