Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
