Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
