i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize