I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
literally had 100 drinks last night.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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