I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
