Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
