Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
