what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
