Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
