OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
