So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
