it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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