I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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