There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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