no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
