I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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