What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
