It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You smell like stripper and shame
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
