Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize