it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
