Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize