we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
