i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
