He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
