It's just like the Real World with babies
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize