Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
