he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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