i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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